To the turdburger who lives in my apartment block,<\/p>\n
I know that you might think it’s funny to press all of the eight lift floor buttons just before you get out at the ground floor but I’ll tell you something: it’s not<\/strong>, especially when you’re waiting in the basement for that lift which is already one of the slowest lifts in the world. Luckily on this occasion I didn’t have any takeway food with me that was diminishing in quality due to those peskily irresistible laws of thermodynamics but let me tell you this: if I actually catch you doing it you will get a very rude education in what a man with a loud, booming voice and some very choice words can do to your quaint sense of humour.<\/p>\n Cheers, To the turdburger who lives in my apartment block<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"activitypub_content_warning":"","activitypub_content_visibility":"","activitypub_max_image_attachments":4,"activitypub_interaction_policy_quote":"","activitypub_status":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[13],"tags":[47],"class_list":["post-43","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-life","tag-fucktards"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/christopherowen.au\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/43","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/christopherowen.au\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/christopherowen.au\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/christopherowen.au\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/christopherowen.au\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=43"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/christopherowen.au\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/43\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/christopherowen.au\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=43"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/christopherowen.au\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=43"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/christopherowen.au\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=43"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
\nYour fellow lift user and the voice of fucking reason,
\nChris<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"